Saturday, January 10, 2009


It’s not easy for me to open-up…. Okay, let’s just say I am an open book. Self-disclosure is my method of healing and letting the listener realise that I’ve gotten to a point were I trust she. I have shared secrets with my gals: unusual habits, my thoughts, my feelings, my errors, my regrets and some haunting truths. The fact is this: I put on a façade towards the opposite sex, and I keep myself mysterious, cold, and reluctant. Being me isn’t appealing when I am in a situation where communication with a one, a one that isn’t my kind occurs. The idea of shedding my skin to one, I do not think highly of. I’ve come to the realisation that I am basically stereotyping, putting all men in a box; that box is filled with negative perceptions. To trust one of them is to put myself down, to be inferior, losing my power, lowering my status. There is no praise when power is destabilized. My every move has been studied by my beauties; they know me like no other, inside and out. Breakdowns they have seen, my deepest, darkest moments they have witnessed, exchange of feelings with no shame; all leaving me a better woman at the end. When I am upset, I relinquish my guard a bit because anger conveys strength. Reflect and escape… I recently spoke to the current one and told a sad revelation about a male nuisance in my life, someone close to me but certainly not dear to me. The condition of this annoyance subsequent to his end.

1 comment:

  1. i feel you felix, guards are so in right now :P seriously though, we both need to see least, you realise the issue, first step to rectifying the problem ;)The more you talk about this "nuisance", the closer you'll be to growth. Love ya!