J inspired me, she made me realise the errors of my ways. To be frank I knew what the problem was, I knew then what I know now. Heart broken is who I was, betrayal is what happened, loneliness is what I faced and my insecurities were my control. Can’t get a hold of anything else in my life than well change me and make my flaws perfection. Girl, you need to stop making these foolish excuses… words from J. After dealing with him, I stopped caring for myself. Perfection was my goal and still is what I am eager to achieve. J kept on calling me negative, my attitude is shit. Today was really the first day I felt good about myself. I’ve matured, my face has matured. I look amazing, distorted thoughts. The more it sinks in, the more I feel attractive. I want it to the bone, cause this is my control. Sometimes, I miss V`s company but I know I am better off. Avoid that nuisance. Bitch is rotten. The dick used to be good; I loved that connection with a man. Strong arms, hit that hard. Make me moan. I loved that shit! My spiritual connection is no longer, sex is now absent. I’ve abused of it. I’m so wrong; using men like he used me.
This is just a draft, a few thoughts.